Losing yourself in a relationship

Holding Hands Couple Couple Holding HandsWhen two people get together and start a relationship, they can both have their own life. There will be how one person likes devote to their life and then there is going to be how the other person likes to devote their life.


Through being together, certain parts of their life are naturally going to change, while there will be other parts that won’t. What is clear is they won’t have as much time as they did before to concentrate on particular needs, and this is because they’ll devote a certain amount of time with another person.

Adding Something Different

Still, this isn’t to say that being in a relationship will be something that will have a negative impact on their life.

There will be the physical needs that they’re able to fulfill, as well the psychological needs. They may even be at the stage in their life where they are ready start a family, so this is another need that they will be able to fulfil.

Healthy Dependence

And, through having someone in their life who they can depend on, it can make it far easier for them to achieve their targets and to be their very best self. The service that the other person gives them can let them reach out for things that they would not have reached out for before.

What this comes down to is that no one is their very own island; they need others so as to function at their best. Ultimately, both of these people will be a team, and this is what’s going to allow them to be stronger together.

Two Parts

Having said that, if they did not have their own life, along with what they do together, this would not be the case. This is why it’ll be essential for them to make sure they don’t forget the things they were doing before they got together – which is, of course, unless it pertains to something that’s no longer suitable.

Their relationship will add to who they are, making it easier for them to perform at their best when they are not together, and what they do when they are not together will add to the relationship. Both parts of their life are then going to be important.

A Vital Part

If they were not able to continue to pay attention to others areas of their life, their relationship would be radically different. But, the reason they can focus on others areas of their life, even though they are with someone, is probably be due to the fact that they have good boundaries.

This will enable them to maintain their sense of self, while having the ability to share who they are with the other person.

Another Scenario

This does not mean that there’ll never lose who they are; what it means is that this is not likely to be the standard. While this is how some relationships will be, there will be plenty of others who will function differently.

Initially they would have been two individuals but, as time went by, this would have changed.

Out of Touch

One of them is then likely to act as if they are only an extension of their partner. Their spouse is then not likely to be another part of their world – they will be the centre of their world.

Their behavior will have gradually shifted to accommodate the other person’s needs, and this is naturally going to make them neglect themselves. So, as the days, weeks and months went by, they would have slowly become estranged from their true-self.

The Main Purpose

Their main priority, once they met this individual, may have been to do anything they could to please them. This is likely to have been something that they weren’t fully aware of.

Pleasing the other person will then have made them feel great initially, yet there is the chance that their psychological state has changed as time has passed. When they are with this person, they might be accustomed to feeling trapped, Palm Bay Pest Control, powerless, helpless, and angry, amongst other things.

What’s happening?

What this is very likely to show is that they believe that it is dangerous for them to main who they are when they get close to another person. Disconnecting from who they are and focusing on another’s persons needs is what will feel safe.

As one is an adult it can be hard to comprehend why this could be true; after all, it is not as if they want this person to survive. Hoverer, the reason why they behave like this as an adult is likely to be due to what took place during their early years.


This may have been a time in their life when they needed to focus on their caregiver’s needs, with their needs being overlooked. If they had not of done this, they may have been abandoned or even harmed.

Being treated in this way would have stopped them from being able to develop a strong sense of self. In addition to this, it might have caused them to believe that they need to concentrate on others people’s needs in order to survive.


Their needs are just as important as anyone else’s needs.

If someone can relate to this, they may want to reach out for the aid of a therapist or healer.

With over one thousand eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope together with his sound advice.


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