Gaslighting is a kind of psychological manipulation. It attempts to sow the seeds of doubt in the targeted person. The intention of the gaslighter is to earn the sufferer question her own perception, memory and sanity, go to website.
Befriending you and gleaning information from friends and family members are ways the abuser gains insight into how to undermine your mental health. Should you have even a slight psyche issue, it’ll be greatly exaggerated and much-discussed.
Dominate or destroy is the basic premise of gaslighting. Usually early childhood issues are performed in the imbalanced head of the aggressor. Anger and jealousy are often at the root of this circumstance.
This isn’t a one-time or temporary situation. Often it continues indefinitely until a catastrophe shines a light on the circumstance. Concealment is a part of this kind of mental and psychological abuse. Isolation and emotional manipulation are common tactics also.
My sister has been undermining my life, my role in our family and my spirit for decades. I’m surprised her abuse escalated beyond vicious gossip and back-biting. As she gained recruits to her origin of ignoring me, her feeling of power increased. She had to flex that power as frequently and fully as she could.
I avoided meeting anyone in her entire world. There’s no telling how many versions of untruths are repeated. Her efforts to convince everyone that I am delusional and my mom has complete dementia were constant.
If two doctors deem a person to have dementia, a third party (my older sister) could commandeer care. The plan was to place my mom in a care facility against her will and be done with her. Her life was blocking use of family land.
The moment I arrived and blocked her residency at the Lexington Place care facility, I became the goal. Instantly, my psychological status and the way I behaved was in question.
We all feared the end. When Mom passed, I became an open target. The police were at my door with an eviction notice within days of her memorial. A judge gave me and 10 older rescue creatures five days to vacate.
Friends stepped in or the dogs and I had no choice but plan a long camping trip in the lake. I literally shook with fear. Gabapentin kept the alcohol cravings at bay but it got dicey. After giving Mom’s eulogy, I began to emotionally shut down.
After the judge spoke, I just wandered out of the courtroom. They were calling to me about court costs but I hardly had gas for home. I had to grieve my mother.
Soon, more police. I walked out with my new Texas license in hand. I shook hands with both officers and apologized. I told them that they were being used to harass me by my sister Cindy. I told the paramedics that joined them that I had been prepared to take any test. Not necessary.
My sister is not finished. It has steeped and festered over the years since it started around high school age. Shaking my psychological health and psychological stability is the objective. Constantly reminding others of my weakness-perceived or real-keeps the damaging energy alive.
No victim has to stay in the role. It surprised me to defend my psychological state on multiple occasions but nobody detected a serious defect. Depression/anxiety issues are now a constant. Lexapro has now morphed into 8 meds per day since I came to live near family.
Gaslighting is serious misuse. It does more harm than is visible. When the core of a person is attacked, survival instincts kick . I no longer feel safe being in the room with my sister . She has suggested frequently that I may be violent. She would stab herself and throw the knife down and say I did it. It is that innovative in my case.
“Stop sharing what is happening on’social media’ or you are going to get hurt,” she growled. Her husband chimed in,”And she’ll do it too.” I told her I did not know our people physically threaten each other. My advanced degenerative disk disease immediately reminded me how vulnerable I am to harm.
My scenario went way too far. I could not leave my mother’s side and it was excruciating to endure. Watching my mother fade after burying my little sister caused a complete breakdown. I had to be hospitalized. It was necessary.
I saw how one individual could take my sensitive heart and caring nature and use it to try to crush me. She knew I would stay and take care of Mom but she wanted the credit for being the caring daughter. When I showed up and found her living in filth, I almost called adult services.
Cleaning that entire place was what was needed but with continuous attacks by my sister, it was not calm for any duration. We did what we could and prolonged her life by a few years by rescuing abused animals. That part of the journey sustained us equally.
Today, I am learning that it was announced through the elders in my family that I am delusional and’hooked on tablets’ There is not an ounce of fact but Dad, my loving aunt and a few nieces are worried. It disturbs my soul to know I caused concern. My sister delights in the play.
My feeling is that without divine intervention or a total meltdown, my gaslighter will find the anger and energy to continue to attempt to lessen my value in the world indefinitely. It is such a dark disorder. Many don’t recover.